A different view of sports

Clearing my mind and notebook while trying to gather my wits and regain my strength from the exhausting challenge of moving back to my home state on an expediated timetable:

Dykstra drama

I was getting worried about Lenny Dykstra. After all, it’s been a while since he last drew the attention of the police.

But he’s back now, making up for his silence his week with the kind of bad-boy drama we’ve come to expect of Lenny Dykstra.

The three-time 1990s All-Star and a member of the 1986 World Series champion New York Mets, Dykstra was arrested in Linden, N.J. in the wee hours of May 23 for terrorizing a Uber driver. The driver abandoned his car in front of the police station after Dykstra allegedly put “a weapon” to his head and threatened to kill him.

Dykstra was also charged with possession of cocaine, marijuana and ecstasy. So yeah, the player who was once known as “Nails” hit for the cycle.

True to form, Dykstra disputed the driver’s claims and insisted he wasn’t arrested – even though the police issued a news release on the incident. Instead, Dykstra claims the driver “kidnapped me and almost killed me going 100 mph.”

Whatever, just add it to a long, growing list of sexual misdeeds and financial fraud that trace Dykstra’s fall from baseball glory. In 2012, he was even sentenced to three years in prison after he and associates bought cars from various dealerships using falsified bank statements and stolen identities. After only serving six and a half months of the sentence, Dykstra was released on probation and ordered to undergo weekly drug testing.

If he was ever drug-free, it didn’t stick.

Stay tuned. Dykstra won’t disappoint.

They said it

NBC comedian Jimmy Fallon on fans watching competitions between gamers at e-sports arenas: “It combines the thrill of going to a live sporting event with  the thrill of having an unemployed roommate.”

RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com: “Can’t see things going well for new Browns quarterback and first overall pick Baker Mayfield. I give him six games before he changes his name to Mayday.”

Mike Bianchi of Orlando Sentinel: “New FSU coach Willie Taggert says he’d like to see college football players who earn a degree be awarded a “trust fund” to get a head start on life. Call me old-fashioned, but I always thought the college degree itself was your head start on life.”

Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “In just the past eight months, the Kansas cheer team has been suspended and three KU fraternities shut down amid hazing allegations. Turns out the least-threatening thing on campus is the football team.”

Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe: “Matt Harvey refuses to go to a AAA team, and ends up with 8-27 Reds.”

Currie of SportsDeke.com, again, after Mets starters Jacob DeGrom didn’t allow a run despite throwing 45 times in the first inning “I worked in advertising for 10 years and made fewer pitches.”

Comedy writer Tim Hunter on Moscow saying it will limit alcohol sales at this summer’s World Cup: “We do that over here with something called the $16 beer.”

Blogger TC Chong on golfer Lucas Glover’s wife getting arrested for getting physical with his mother: “Now there’s a Mother’s Day story you’ll have a tough time topping.”

Skipping reality

Before he became a talking airhead, Skip Bayless made his coin spewing nonsense in print. Now he has mastered the art of talking crap on Twitter.

When the Cleveland Cavaliers lost Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals and Cavs coach Tyronn Lue suggested that LeBron James appeared to be fatigued late in the game, Bayless quickly made a big deal of King James chugging water  at the scorer’s table.

Undisputed’s Bayless quickly pounced via Twitter: “This is just pathetic, LeBron is sitting on the scorer’s table chugging water trying to show the gullible witnesses he’s “dehydrated.” Next we’ll hear he’s suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Unreal.”

James says he’s just fine, and we have no reason to doubt that he’ll find his extra gear again.

Meanwhile, I’ve long suffered from the malady I call “Chronic Fatigue from Skip Bayless’ Rants.”

Headlines

TheOnion.com: “New NFL policy requires all players to honor patriotic spirit of subservience American flag represents.”

Fark.com: “NFL used polling firm to get public opinion on Colin Kaepernick.”

TheKicker.com: “Remember when Miami had a pro baseball team?”

Fark.com: “What kind of American coaches soccer in another country?”

TheOnion.com: “New alternate-history drama examines what would have happened if Nazis won 1991 NBA Finals.”

Fark.com: “Fargo man mistakenly runs full marathon instead of the half he’d signed up for, probably in attempt to run completely out of North Dakota.”

TheOnion.com: “Pink jersey proves that woman is sports fan, yet also retains a certain femininity.”

TheOnion.com: “Jerry Jones offers to pay players’ fines for domestic violence.”

TheOnion.com: “MLB reminds teams to properly dispose of all torn elbow ligaments.”

Fark.com: “Nick Foles preferred being second-string in Philly to starting in Cleveland.”

TheOnion.com: “HBO selects Cleveland Browns to appear on new season of ‘Big Little Lies.’”

Nasty, nasty

Former bad boy of tennis, Ilie Nastase, also chose the wrong way to create headlines this week.

The 71-year-old Romanian was arrested twice in six hours in Bucharest. The first time he was detained after 4 a.m. on suspicion of drunk driving and refusing to submit to a breathalyzer test. He was handcuffed, had his license suspended and was notified that he was under investigation.

That didn’t slow down Nastase

A few hours later he was charged with running a red light while on a scooter. The second time was the charm. Bucharest police say his blood alcohol level of 0.55 mg per litter carries a maximum five-year prison sentence, but he was only fined $253 and his license has only been suspended for three months.

The former U.S. and French Open champion was also caught on film mocking the police. He did admit he had been drinking beer.

Good to know.

Coming soon

The NHL has announced that it will add Smart Puck technology for the 2019-20 season – possibly sooner.

The technology will allow the league to track the movement of the puck at a rate of 200 times per second. That means the coaches and other NHL officials will be able to gather more information on possession, shot placement, shot distance and passing accuracy.

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