A different view from the world of sports ….
Now that Donald Trump has been universally ridiculed for his lack of clarity on economic issues in an interview with The Economist magazine, it can only mean one thing.
You guessed it: LaVar Ball should be named Trump’s Secretary of Economic Development. Together, they can reshape the world economy by making the Big Baller Brand the new gold standard.
Transcripts of meetings between Trump and Ball would be a form of currency in itself, owning the internet.
Donald Trump: “Lavar, I’ve got big ideas for the economy. Like, I think your Big Baller brand could be huge in reducing the trade deficit with Canada and Mexico. Maybe even Hawaii.”
LaVar Ball: “That’s great. How do we do it?”
Trump: “We just have to prime the pump — I just made that phrase up, ya know. Anyway, we could tie healthcare to Big Baller shoes, giving anyone who buys a pair of shoes a coupon for 50 percent off a health screening.”
Ball: “Except women, right? I made it clear on Cowherd’s show that don’t want no woman buying the shoes. They need to stay in their lane. I didn’t raise no sissies in Lonzo, LiAngelo and LaMelo and they shouldn’t be disrespected by having females wearing their shoes.”
Trump: “Well, we’ve got to be fair. We’d have to at least allow moms to buy the shoes for their sons, and then they’d get to decide who gets the health screening coupon.”
Ball: “I don’t know if I like that idea. We don’t need no one who can’t dunk wearing the shoes, either. Speaking of which, you can’t palm a basketball, can you?”
Trump: “I’ve just thought of a better idea. I’m putting a 40 percent export tariff on your shoes … Oh, and you’re fired.”
Tom Bradey and the New England Patriots may soon be subjected to another investigation. Brady’s wife, super model Gisele Bundchen said recently that her husband has had a history of concussions.
After 17 years in the NFL, that probably shouldn’t be a surprise. And yet, the Patriots have NEVER listed Brady as doubtful for any head ailments. Not even migraines.
Florida wide receiver Antonio Callaway is in trouble again after being cited for possession of marijuana during a traffic stop in which Callaway was a passenger in a Mercedes being driven by Kendrick Williams. Williams, 40, has a rap sheet filed with drug arrests, criminal mischief and battery.
It will be interesting to see how Callaway gets out of this latest bind. He was suspended last spring because of allegations of sexual assault but was found not responsible during a Title IX hearing conducted by UF when Callaway told committee members he as “so stoned I had no interest in having sex with anyone.”
From SportsPickle.com: “ESPN announces new hockey reporter: a link to NHL.com.”
From TheOnion.com: “Slight breeze a major factor in Wiffel Ball Game.
From TheKicker.com: “Isaiah Thomas petitions league to just skip to 4th quarter from now on.”
From SportsPickle.com: “Jay Cutler signs one-day contract to retire from football as a Cleveland Brown.”
From TheKicker.com: “NBA 2K17 adds ‘Wiz/Celts mode,’ which is basically just Mortal Kombat.”
From TheOnion.com: “Pregnant Serena Williams excited to feel her baby grunt.”
The creamated remains of lifelong Mets fan Roy Riegel have been flushed down 16 ballpark toilets around the country as a tribute by a childhood friend. Never mind the irony that Riegel grew up near Flushing Meadow, N.Y., NBC’ comedian Seth Meyers notes that, “Meanwhile, the Mets are honoring his wish by flushing their season, too.”
They said it
— Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on MLB-themed diapers:“They were also going to put NFL logos on them, but nobody wanted a diaper with the name the Browns on it.”
— Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, after the QB-needy Browns failed to draft one with any of their three first-round picks: “This is like the homeless man who wins the lottery and buys everything but a new home.”
— TBS’ comedian Conan O’Brien, after a Toyota Land Cruiser clocked 230 mph to break the record for fastest SUV: “Apparently somebody was really late to their kid’s soccer game.”
— Eric Kolenich of the Richmond (Va.) Times-Dispatch, on Lonzo Ball failing to land a big-bucks-endorsement deal with Nike, Under Armour or Adidas because of his daddy’s grandstanding: “The best business move for Lonzo might be to change his name. Or ask his father to.”
— Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the $495 asking price for the “ZO2: Prime” Lonzo Ball sneakers: “So does the shoe come with a shirt for your significant other saying, ‘I’m with stupid?’ ”
— J. Petrillo, 64, to New York’s WCBS-TV, after defying 67 million-to-1 odds by hitting two holes-in-one during the same round in River Vale, N.J.: “(Golf) forces you to relax and focus, and to do those two things at the same time. … That’s why the game is nuts. It’s a four-letter word.”